Today, I’d like to share some of my secrets for giving solid, good advice, even in difficult situations. We quiet people tend to be good listeners and think (sometimes a great deal) before we speak, so we are often consulted. Beging asked for advice is a sign of trust and confidence, but it can also be uncomfortable and a great responsibility. Here’s what to say, how to cope, and how not to get blamed if things work out in unexpected ways.
As I explained last week, “Get out of your comfort zone!” is my pet peeve and the piece of thoughtless, bad advice that I dislike the most (read why here). But there are a few more pieces of advice and conventional wisdom that I’d like to talk about, because they are regularly and liberally thrown about, but can be terribly harmful. They tend to be especially bad advice for introverts, high sensitives or anxious people, but really, some of these “gems” are shitty advice no matter who you’re talking to, and they’re worth thinking about for everyone – the advisors and the advised.
I have been debating whether or not I should tell you, but… I have a super power. Not a secret identity, though – my super self is my everyday self. Which is just how it should be!
You may be snickering or rolling your eyes now. Empathy? What a lame super power! Well, if you’ve got a minute, I’d like to explain why I do think it’s indeed an incredibly valuable skill, one that, in theory, 99.9% of all humans possess, but that is not really valued enough in our culture, relegated to the realm of ‘feminine’, ‘bad for business’ and optional’. As a consequence, many people do not realise the full potential of what being empathetic really means, and how tremendously useful it can be.